A Plan Gone Too Smoothly
by swankyboi
Summary: What happens when Hikigaya thinks everything through before it even happens? A more thoughtful and calculating Hikigaya who knows how the world works...Still very dense when it comes to love though. Because if he wasn't then this would be way shorter story. Rated M because I might do stuff in the future.


The Mastermind Without A Plan

As I lay on my desk getting some needed sleep; I hear someone call out for me.

"Hikio!"

She calls out to me sounding fairly angry.

I decided to pretend to be asleep and hope that she doesn't bother me.

"Hikio, I know you're listening! We need to talk now!"

I still don't move.

She quickly goes to reach out to me but out of pure reflex I slap her hand away before she can get any closer.

She looks at me at a lost for words but still with irritation written all over her face.

I decide to glare at Miura with a look of disdain. She seems to get even more caught off guard by this but her angry gaze does not wilt away.

*People stare at us in a shocked state of awe*

Out of the corner of my eye I see Hayama walking towards us but before he can "save the day" I decide to ruin his plans.

*I stand up and slowly begin to walk away*

"Hey, where do you think you're going!?" Miura says.

I don't even decide to answer and walk away but she soon follows me with an even more irritated face.

"Hey, there's no need to fight. We're all friends here." Hayama says with a somewhat strained smile.

Me and Miura don't even give Hayama even a second look before we leave.

I know how Hayama works. I know what buttons I can push that can set him off and what I just did was a slap in the face to him. Although he'd never admit it though.

After me and Miura exit the classroom we walk to a quiet are with no people.

"So, how well do you think the plan worked?" I asked.

"...What?"

"You know? The plan to get with Hayama?"

"Oh yeah...It….Um….Went quite well."

I must being seeing things because I think I see her cheeks turn ever so slightly pink but that must be my imagination.

"Hey, maybe now this can create some sort of mystique for him. He's always seen you hang all over his words so now that you've backed off him a bit he'll start to think about and maybe notice you more."

"Shut up! I do not!" She says with non fake irritation this time.

"Whatever you say Juliet." I say smirk fully.

"What!?"

As Miura gets more angry I decided it would be best not to awake the beast any further.

"I'm just kidding; anyway, your acting was pretty stellar."

"Who said it was just an act?" She says with a smirk of her own.

"Oh well-"

Miura quickly interrupts me.

"It's just a joke Hikio and um…..Thanks for trying to solve my request."

The way she says this make my heart flutter a little. I'd never admit it to her though.

"No problem." I say stoically.

Now stuck in an awkward silence we both decide to head back.

Miura sees a vending machine and walks to it.

I decide to keep walking thinking that she just wants a drink and it would be better if we both didn't walk back in at the same time. Rumors can absolutely kill someone's social life.

As I walk I hear her yell "Hikio get your ass back here!"

This caught me off guard so I turned around. Right as I do she throws a can at my face and I catch it with 1 hand.

My reflexes have gotten so much better. Ever since me and my sister decided to work out together again we have been getting better and better. It's been a bit over 3 years since we started back up. We used to do it a lot to protect ourselves (Honestly just me) from bullies.

We started when I was 8 and stopped when I was 14 for awhile since there was no need but Komachi was definitely not happy about that. Now that we started back up again she seems even more happy now.

In deep thought I finally notice that Miura is saying something to me. Not quite sure what she just said but she looks at me angrily waiting for a response.

"I'm sorry." I say hoping that was the correct response.

"Really? I buy you your favorite drink and that's what you say to me?" The fire queen says sounding pissed off.

*I look at the can more closely*……

'Oh shit it's Max coffee.'

"I-" Before I can finish Miura says.

"I know you were zoning out Hikio, it's literally written all over your face." She says with puffed up cheeks.

'Shit! My loner skills are failing me.'

"Hikio, you will never get with Yukinoshita at this rate if this is how little you pay attention to other people." She says with some weird emotion that I can't truly tell…..Bitter maybe?

'To give her more trust in me during the request I decided to say that I had a crush on yukino. Do I really love Yukino? I honestly don't know but I need to do this at least for Miura's sake.'

"Oi! I do pay attention." I say as I open my can of Max and sip while reminiscing on the fond times spent with Totsuka.

*She just glares at me*

*She turns and heads to the classroom*

*I wait for about 15 steps before I follow but she seems to slow down and halts to a stop*

"Hikio I know what you're doing…….It's just rumors." She says without making eye contact with me.

"It's alright. There's no need to ruin your image for my sake."

As if knowing that I wasn't going to back down she decides to keep walking.

Before I enter the classroom I decide to head to the restroom since we still have a bit of time left for our lunch break. I suddenly get this weird feeling like somebody's watching me for some reason. I shrug it off.

I go into the empty bathroom to use the urinal and as I'm in mid piss someone enters the bathroom and stands right next to me and uses the urinal.

*Sigh* "It's you again?" I say.

It's none other than my old friend Zaimokuza. Me and him used to be tighter than emo jeans but as the years progressed we drifted apart somewhat. He's honestly the only person who was friends with me before and after the change.

'You would think I'd hold him in higher regards…...However our past is a little questionable.'

'Anytime you go from recommending real porn to hentai with your friend then you should know that your friendship is a bit strange.'

'The reason I don't to get too close to him is because he talks about our fetishes openly and proudly. I don't regret our Friendship but I do regret parts of it.'

*He looks at me and grins* "Yep! Here's some…..Quality *he looks around* pictures for your troubles."

*He passes me an envelope while we're still using the urinals*

*I open it and take 1 look at all it's contents* "How much?"

"Don't worry my dude, this one is on the house." *He gives me a cheeky smile and a thumbs up*

Me and him both go in for a fist bump but before we could make contact both of us stop immediately after realizing……

We both didn't wash our hands.

After our little "business transaction" we washed our hands and left the restroom.

We don't even say bye to each other but instead gives each other a knowing glance and head our separate ways.

As I continue to walk to my classroom I notice a small group of girls come out of it.

I don't really know any of them besides the one girl called Sagami.

They all walk past me with disgust and disdain clearly evident on their faces.

I choose to ignore it and walk inside the classroom.

I thought the staring would end but I'm greeted with some fairly disgusted faces.

*I hear the whispers*

"He's such a douche."

"Why is he even here? No one even likes him."

"He's definitely a siscon."

'Oi!? Who the fuck said that one?!'

Being ever so slightly irritated; I go to my desk and put on some headphones and pretend I'm in a Beats by Dre commercial.

As I waste the few minutes of lunch away left I-

*pat pat*

-I feel someone touching me but I don't even dignify them with a look as I just use my hand to shew them away.

*pat pat pat pat*

This was repeated even more but I will not give in so I stand my ground.

The touching finally stops.

*Slap*

'I was so wrong'

"Ow!" I scream.

I turn around and I look at my attacker dead in their face.

"Hikki!" Yuigahama says trying her best angry face impersonation and failing miserably.

'she actually looks a little adora-'

"Where were you?! I went to your "secret spot" and you weren't anywhere to be found. We needed you to help with Tobe's request." She says in and angry whisper.

'...Nevermind.'

'Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually hate him; however, he does irritate me to the point of pre-meditative murder sometimes. Take his request for example, his request was to set up a small little Birthday surprise in the classroom for one of his friends. Sounds innocent enough until you realize he's mostly using us to do that main work while he tries to use this "party" as an excuse to get closer to Ebina.'

'He never explicitly states this exactly but I can just tell by the way he looks at her. He's not a bad guy and I don't think he himself even knows what he's truly doing. That's why I can't really hate him.'

'It's shallow but everyone does this in some way, shape, or form. It's hard to admit but it's sadly true.'

We were supposed to go hang up some surprise decorations in our club room to catch him off guard, but I decided not to do that. Yuigahama on the other hand had quite different plans.

"Why'd you bail! We waited so long for you!" Yuigahama says.

"This sounds an awful lot like a you problem." I say with a smirk.

*She gives me a brief glare before shaking her head and walking away.*

'I'm actually pretty shocked. I thought for sure I'd hear a lot more from her, but I guess today is my lucky day.'

*Minutes later the bell rings and the class starts back up again*

'The rest of class goes on pretty uneventful besides the random glares I keep getting from people.'

As the class ends I see Hiratsuka motion me to come to her with a paper in hand.

I pretend I don't see her and quickly try to walk out the door- but before I can leave I am then met with a strong grip holding onto my shoulder. I see Yuigahama walk past me with the smuggest look I've ever seen.

"What is this exactly?"

I turn around slowly and give her the most stoic look possible and say "It's my essay…Duh."

She didn't take too kindly to that comment if the veins on her forehead was any of an indication to go by.

"Thanks you for that wonderful clarification!" she says as she looks at me very irritated.

"You're very welcome." I say.

The next thing I knew I was on the floor on my knees after a vicious uppercut to the stomach. Wondering rather or not to press charges on her.

She quickly shuts the door of the classroom after that. I feel like she's a little too late for that but I keep that to myself since I don't feel like getting another uppercut today.

I know why she was mad. We were told to write an essay on something involving love since Valentine's Day was coming up. It was very broad to me so I decided to test the limits. I did write about love but…..

"You based your essay on the love story of the Disney princesses?"

Which doesn't sound bad until you realize.

"And you based it off of the original stories?!"

She facepalms and simply gives the paper back to me and says "Redo the whole thing."

I was a little angry but I didn't feel like arguing was the best method to my survival right now.

I grab my paper but before I can leave for my club that I was totally going to go to after this she stops me.

"Hikigaya wait! I need your help with something."

'Shit!' this usually meant she'd have me wait in her office and rarely ask me to do anything and just chat. I'm not quite sure why she does it so much. In fact a lot of people have been asking for more of my time lately. Hell even sagami even tried to ask me for a request. I denied her immediately though since she was obviously planning something after that whole student council event. She said she needed someone to help for her "new campaign" but I knew better. Kawa-wa-what's her name again? Anyway she wanted me to come over and babysit but she was also their because apparently she forgot she didn't have work that day or something. It's weird but it's been fun. People for some reason also keep forgetting I'm not the only member in my club. I'm not even sure how or why Yuigahama's friends are asking me to do stuff for them more than Yuigahama. Actually I do know why. It's 3 reasons and the first being that it's Yuigahama. Second they don't want to bother a friend and third which I know some would hate to admit it but I'm just far more effective. Even if most people don't agree with my methods it does show results. That's part of the reason why Hayama keeps asking for me to do it and this is honestly just a guess but I think he might be batting for the other team if you know what I mean.

I never really thought about it until I heard from other people how much he talks about me but for a guy who hates me for some reason my name does seem to always be on his mind. Oh and then there's Yukino-

"Hello!?"

I quickly snap out of my thoughts

"What?"

She looks at me a bit irritated.

"I said could you grab me that paper right there."

"Oh, my bad." I quickly grab and hand her the paper.

As I do that she grabs my hand quickly. This would almost seem pretty romantic if she wasn't crushing the soul out of me through my hands.

She let's go and I pull my hand back. I try to console my hand after the abuse it just took.

"Ow what was that for?!"

"Oh, it was just a little something to keep you focused." she says nonchalantly.

"Focused on what exactly?"

She just turns around and continues working for a bit as I stand and do nothing.

"Well if this is all that was needed then I'll just take my leave right now."

"Actually you have to stay."

"Why?"

Just as I say that another person decides to enter the room.

"Hello!" she says energetically.

'Aw fuck.'...

Author notes:

This is the finished chapter. If I do decide to continue then each chapter will be at least 2k to 4kish words long and that's not including the authors note.

I'd love to hear ideas on what I can do better and who you think Hikigaya should be with by the end of the story.

Hikigaya will be out of character a bit and the events that are canon might not happen in this story.

If I were to continue then you should only expect about maybe 16 chapters and 20 if I'm really feeling this story.

Fair warning I am a Yuigahama fanboy so I'll try not to be biased when it comes to her but there's no guarantees. Tell me if you want to see me write a love story just between them or something else reasonable.


End file.
